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I recently celebrated my fifth year as a priest, and in recalling my ordination at St Edmundsbury Cathedral, I remember the words of one of my friends, when they said, “I’m surprised God didn’t strike me down as soon as I walked in!” Well, I gave a chuckle, as you do, and the day moved on. But thinking about the time that has elapsed since then, I can recall more and more people making similar remarks – that they would burst into flames, or they wouldn’t be welcomed by God in church, chiefly it seems because of what they perceive to be their sin.
It's a strange concept to many in modern times, sin. It has been diluted to be thought of as things that we indulge in, that we derive pleasure from – perhaps some pleasures that others may disapprove of! It can be equated with benign ‘naughtiness’ rather than serious misdemeanours, like eating a cream cake when you’re on a diet, or another glass of wine at a party.
But what I find saddening is that people understand sin as ‘things we do that make God angry, angry enough to punish us’. People do seem sometimes to believe that we can be rejected by God and even bring divine punishment upon ourselves by the things that we think, say and do.
This is not the God that I have come to understand. Neither is it the God that Julian of Norwich, 14th century Christian mystic understood either. In her incredible book (the first book written in English by a woman, as far as we know), she describes divine visions gifted to her by God as she lay gravely ill, and her understandings of what they meant. Julian said,
“I was continually shown that our Lord God, as far as he himself is concerned, does not have to forgive because he is unable to be angry. It would be impossible for him!”
To me, God is the perfect parent, always showing us love, kindness and concern. Our sin is not something that makes God angry or ready to punish with furrowed brow – sin is our thoughts, words and actions that hurt ourselves, other people or creation. And more often than not, the consequences of that sin leave us wracked with guilt, self-loathing and a crushed spirit.
On the contrary, the best place for someone who, by the sins in their lives, have hurt others, are guilt-ridden, lost and broken – is with God – coming to God with arms outstretched, yearning for God’s loving embrace. The church is not the only place that you can find God’s grace waiting for you – but it is a place where one can begin to understand the fathomless compassion of a God that will never turn away those who cry out.
You won’t spontaneously combust! The sky will not darken, hurling thunderbolts your way! The flowers will not wither as you enter the church! But perhaps something else will bloom in your heart as you come before God in your moment of need – peace; the peace of God which is waiting for all those who come with outstretched hands, to be seen, to be known, to be loved.
The Rev'd Fr Benjamin Edwards
Vicar of Great Barton & Thurston
